Couples counselling has been described as 'like piloting a helicopter in a hurricane." Hence the absolute necessity for a therapist who is specialist trained, experienced and expert in the skills required. You wouldn’t risk asking your G.P. to perform open-heart surgery; you’d ask a cardiac surgeon.
I’m not a ‘general practitioner!’ I am a specialist and experienced relationship counsellor working with couples and individuals for over 25 years. I provide relationship counselling (including couples’ sexual issues) both privately and, until this year, with Relate, with whom I qualified in 1996. I am based in Crowborough on the Sussex/Kent border and work face to face and online. Over 80% of my cases are couples.
I also work with couples or partners where the use, by one of them, of pornography, online sexual encounters, multiple affairs or the visiting of sex workers is negatively affecting their relationship. Over the years I began to see an increase in these problematic behaviours and in 2018/19 undertook and achieved a Level 5 Diploma in Sex Addiction Counselling at the Institute for Sex Addiction Training (ISAT).
I have facilitated an online Support and Education Group for Partners of those with sexually addictive behaviours. Click here.
I am a Registered Member of the College of Sexual and Relationship Therapists (COSRT) and I abide by their Code of Ethics and Practice.
I am a Qualified Member of the Association for the Treatment of Sexual Addiction and Compulsivity (ATSAC).
There are any number of reasons why couples seek support and below are just a few that I encounter in my work:
I’ve watched hardcore porn late into the night for years. My wife’s found out; I’m ashamed but I can’t stop.
I’m having an affair with another woman. How do I tell my husband?
He works all hours and I get no support with the house and kids. I’m lonely and resentful.
We’re like flat mates. I want to end it and I need her to hear this because she just isn’t listening.
I’m having an affair. She knows and wants me to stay. I wish she’d throw me out. I can’t end the affair but I can’t leave my wife.
My partner wants us to go to gay sex clubs and I’m not as keen. We argue about it.
We’ve been separated for a year and want to try again – but not make the same mistakes this time.
He left two days ago. I need to talk to someone.
We’ve neglected ‘us’ since the boys were born. We need help to get back on track and improve things.
She’s an alcoholic, although she’s in recovery so it should be better now but it’s not. We are struggling.
She’s had an affair: I’m angry and now that’s destroying us.
All we have in common is our thirteen year old and now she’s started criticising me – just like her mother does.
I want to start a family but he can’t commit to more children and maybe that means not to me.
We’re getting married but we have stupid arguments which develop into something nasty.
He’s just retired. We bicker constantly. I’m not sure we like each other anymore.